Reality is fine, it is my ideas about reality that cause all the problems

Have you ever noticed that it is not reality itself (what is so) that creates the problems in our lives?

Reality can cause us pain but not problems.  Yet it is our ideas on how I/you/we/ they/ it should be that gives rise to our problems.  We simply forget that reality just is and it can never live up to what we want, when we want it.

So my brother-in-law Simon had is face smashed in playing rugby.  Yet, he never had any problems with that and still does not.  He simply went through what he had to go through to get his face put together.  And he has played rugby for many years after his accident.  He does not blame anyone or anything: it happened, he knew it could happen and so forth.

I also have friends who have divorced and in the process they created many problems for themselves simply by insisting on holding on to their viewpoints, their stories – where they are or were the victims of injustice.  It is the stories that they create which create their pain.  For the reality is simply that they are no longer with the person that they fell in love with.

Where do I sit.  I would love to be like my brother-in-law Simon, yet too often I find myself in the camp of my divorced friends!  That is where mindfulness comes in – when I am mindful I can give  my story and join my brother-in-law and accept reality for what it is and what it is not.

Author: Maz Iqbal

Experienced management consultant working at the intersection of strategy, customer, and technology. Combine a tendency to think strategically with a penchant for getting my hands dirty at the coalface of implementation.

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