Occasionally I read or hear something that introduces a glitch in the ‘matrix of my mind’, lifts me out of my default state of ‘fallenness’ and provides an opening into a ‘new world’, new way of being. Before I share that with you let’s get present to what is so in the ordinary way of living in which almost all of us are embedded almost all of the time.
Ordinary living: love as finding someone special and ‘being in love’
What is ordinary way of think about love? If you are like me it is likely to be something like:
- Love as a feeling – as in ‘I love you’ which more accurately said is “I feel love for you”;
- Love as quest for that special someone – as in ‘I need to find someone to love me for me to feel OK, to feel complete’; and
- Love as in falling in love – it is not enough for us that someone loves us, we strive to find that someone we love and who loves us!
What shows up when we approach love standing in this clearing: one of wanting, need and feeling? If you are like me and I say that you are, more accurately most of you are, then it does not work out that great, does it? It is not that easy to find that someone special. And even when you do, how long does that feeling of ‘being in love’ last? How do we react when that feeling is no longer there? Does frustration, disappointment, anger, bitterness, self-criticism ofr choosing the wrong person (again!), restlessness, feeling cheated, feeling deprived – do these seem familiar to you?
In life and living there is risk and there is pain – that is simply what is so. What is not within life itself is suffering. Suffering – this is what we introduce into our lives because we have a faulty view of life, of reality. And I cannot think of a domain of life where are as mistaken as we are in the domain of life called ‘love and loving’. Consequently, we suffer greatly.
Extraordinary living: Clea Iqbal speaks a forgotten ‘truth’
Here are the words that introduce a glitch in the ‘matrix of my mind’, lift me out of my default state of ‘fallenness’ and provide an opening into a ‘new world’, new way of being.
“Love is something everyone wants,
many do not realise they are loved,
someone cares for them lovingly,
and watches out for them.
Many people go out looking for love to be happy,
and they don’t realise,
to be happy,
you don’t need to love someone,
nor have someone love you.
You need only to love life itself!”
Do you get the wisdom, the beauty, the power, the freedom, that Clea has made available to each of us? Being alive – see, hear, feel, touch, play, create, taste – is a privilege! That is what Clea is pointing out. What would show up in your living if you lived your life from this vantage point, from this stand?
Leadership is about disclosing new worlds, new possibilities and modeling that behaviour. What impact would you have on those close to you, those you work with, those come across, the world at large? Would it not show up as a transformation in the quality of your living and of our world? Are you prepared to be that big and ‘play BIG’? Are your prepared to be a leader?
About Clea Iqbal
Clea is daughter to me as I am father to her. From time to time she comes out with profound insights that blow my mind and my heart. So I invited her to share her voice and her insights with all of us both as self-expression and as contribution. She took me up on this invitation and we set up a blog for her: Clea’s Blog
A final thought: perhaps one of the practices that we can incorporate into our living and of loving life is allowing/encouraging/enabling our fellow human beings to speak authentically and put that speaking into the world.