After watching the film The Impossible I found myself to have been affected rather profoundly. Put differently, I found myself to be ‘all shaken up’.
What shook me was the humanity that showed up in that devastation, that suffering. What showed up for me was how little of a contribution that I am making in the world. What shook me up was the level of pain that is in the world and what little I do to help my fellow wo/man in being with / dealing with pain/suffering. In short, I showed up for myself as a failure. Perhaps, even a hypocrite.
So I found myself with tears running down my face. Being with what was so I found myself tired/exhausted. And, I feel asleep in the lounge whilst getting hugs from daughter and one of the sons.
Some hours later I woke up and looked at the coffee table that was next to me. What did I find? I found a box of tissues and this note:
By now I was deeply touched. It occurred to me that perhaps I have not failed to be/make the kind of contribution that I say I am committed to making. Perhaps, just perhaps, I may be a decent human being doing. This cheered me up.
As I looked around the room and specifically the dining table I found some stuff. I wondered why that stuff was there. Who had put it there and why? Then I moved closer to the table and found this waiting for me:
At this point I found myself laughing out loud. Why? I was totally present to the love that exists between daughter and myself. It occurred to me that real love exists between daughter and me. In that space I got that I matter, I make a difference. And as long as my living makes a difference to even one being then my life is not wasted. Nor am I failure. It occurred to me that the future is wide open to being invented and lived for as long as I have this gift of a life – including the love that I am blessed with.
As I made my way around the rest of the house – the kitchen, the stairs, the bathroom, I found more notes from daughter saying the same “I love you! from Clea”. And in that moment, I got that this is real love. I got how blessed I am and in getting that I found my being transformed: I straightened up, I was taller, a positive outlook gripped me, smiles and joy were present….