We spent a large part of last weekend at the home of our friends: Gisela, James, and Jasper. As Gisela says, it is our home in the countryside. It strikes me that coming from someone else this would strike me as mere words, intentions, or simply being nice, being polite. Yet, Gisela’s words do not show up that way for me: they show up for me as truth – my home in the countryside.
What is it about Gisela, James, and Jasper that leaves me feeling loved and loving them as I do?
1. I notice that there is genuine joy in their being when I show up in their home. And vice versa.
2. It never occurs to me that I am being judged: right-wrong, good-bad… And I do not judge them. What is presence is acceptance and the space that creates for us: to simply be.
3. One-upmanship is absent: nobody is out to show that they are better, or not, than anyone else. Yes, we rejoice in each others gifts. And we leave it at that: there is no judgement about those gifts. We take delight in each other, not judgement/evaluation.
4. I am not being advised nor educated about life. Nor am I being questioned or interrogated. There simple is no space in our being for that kind of conversation to show up.
5. Nothing shows up as being forced. It does not occur to me that anyone is doing their best to please others against their own feelings-needs. It occurs to me that there is an absence of pretence. And as a result there is a certain ease and gracefulness.
6. There no faking, no bullshitting, no preening, no grandstanding, no falseness going on – none that I pick up or have picked up yet. What there is, is, even if it is deemed to be “bad” or “inappropriate” by conventional wisdom and morality
7. We share. We share the shopping if there is shopping to be done. We share the cooking if there is cooking to be done. We share our speaking and listening. We share our joy in being present with one another. We share smiles. We share hugs. We share what we have found on TED, or elsewhere, that speaks to us. We share the joys, challenges, disappointments and heartaches of life: that which works and that which does not work in our lives.
8. Smiles, hugs, laughter and even play is present. And what an amazing difference that makes. To get up in the morning and be greeted with genuine warmth/affection made visible through smiles and hugs.
I am left asking myself, “What if I showed up for all the people in my life, the way that I show up with Gisela-James-Jasper?” And the thought occurs that it would be “Awesome”. What a way to show up in the world!
It occurs to me that if you and I treat everyone that we meet the way we treat our very best friends then together we would transform our lives and the world. What do you say?